DISCERNMENT COUNSELING  

FOR COUPLES ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE

Now Offered in office and online

Are you feeling uncertain about your marriage? Maybe you've had the painful conversation where divorce was mentioned, or perhaps you've been silently questioning if there’s a way forward.

Maybe you’ve thought:

• “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

• “If it weren’t for the kids, I would have left a long time ago.”

• “Is there still hope for us?”

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure it’s the right choice, you are in a high-stakes and emotionally difficult place. Discernment Counseling is designed to help.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling provides a structured way to slow down, take a breath, and thoughtfully explore your options before making a life-changing decision.

It is specifically designed for mixed-agenda couples, meaning:

• One person is “leaning out”, feeling uncertain about whether working on the marriage will help.

• The other person is “leaning in”, wanting to rebuild the relationship and stay together.

Traditional marriage counseling assumes that both partners are committed to working on the marriage. Discernment Counseling is different. It helps you gain clarity and confidence about what direction is best for your relationship—whether that means committing to work on it or deciding to part ways.

How It Works

This is not couples therapy in the traditional sense. Instead, it is a short-term, structured process focused on helping you explore your relationship from a deeper perspective.

What to expect in Discernment Counseling:

• You and your partner will meet together, but most of the work happens one-on-one with me.

• You will each be treated with compassion and respect, no matter where you stand. There are no “bad guys” or “good guys.”

• The focus is on understanding the patterns and contributions that have brought your relationship to this point.

• You will gain insights that will be valuable for your future—whether that future is together or apart.

Your Three Paths Forward

After completing the Discernment Counseling process, couples typically choose from one of these three paths:

✅ Continue in the marriage as it is, without making significant changes.
✅ Move toward separation or divorce, feeling more certain about the decision.
✅ Commit to six months of marriage counseling, working together to repair and strengthen the relationship.

The goal is not to fix your marital issues in these sessions but to determine whether they can be fixed and if both of you are willing to do the work.

What Does the Process Look Like?

• Up to five counseling sessions

  • The first session is two hours long.

  • Any additional sessions are 90 minutes each.

• Each session is designed to help you move toward clarity and confidence in your decision.

• By the end, you will have a deeper understanding of your relationship, your personal role in its challenges, and what steps to take next.

Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?

This process is not for every couple. It is not a fit if:

🚫 One spouse has already decided to divorce and is unwilling to explore other options.
🚫 One spouse is pressuring or coercing the other to participate.
🚫 There are safety concerns in the relationship, such as abuse or threats of violence.

If any of these apply to your situation, I encourage you to seek individual counseling or legal guidance instead.

Why Choose Me as Your Counselor?

I am the only certified Discernment Counselor in North Dakota and have been practicing couples therapy for 23 years. Since the inception of the Discernment Counseling model eight years ago, I have helped numerous couples navigate these crossroads with greater clarity and confidence.

Unlike traditional marriage counseling, which assumes both partners are ready to repair the relationship, this process meets you where you are—helping you make a more informed and thoughtful decision about your future.

How to Get Started

Before scheduling a session, I conduct a pre-screening call with both partners separately. This call takes about 15-20 minutes each and ensures that Discernment Counseling is the right fit for you.

Next Steps:

📍 Complete my counseling inquiry form, where you’ll find my availability.
📍 Learn more about my approach
📍 Get answers to common questions, including service fees, on my FAQ page.
📍 Still have questions? Feel free to reach out—I’m happy to help!

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